ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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