i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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