your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
