maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
