i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I want is dick and wine.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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