i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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