The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
