PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
