i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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