If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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