if you like me you must not know who I am
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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