Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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