I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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