just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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