1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have fence marks all over my body
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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