I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
