I want to stick my p in your. b.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
They took my balls.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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