i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
