my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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