So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
