Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
