Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
