How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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