we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
