Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just high enough for therapy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize