I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize