He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
