god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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