I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
