Sponge bath it is.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
