Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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