Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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