sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
