Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
