How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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