NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
