How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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