"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize