Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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