It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
