Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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