dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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