that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
