I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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