I have demons in me.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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