You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
