you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
