He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
