Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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