Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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