You can't special order awesome
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize