lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
