Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
