Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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