..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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