Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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