One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
BRING THE BAGELS
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
