You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
