So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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