The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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